Fall for Anything

Summer is a good time for a CSO. It's those 2 months that I get to work night shifts (9 pm to 5 am) and pretty much have all that time to myself. Needless to say, I get paid a lot for working "graveyard" shifts. For example, last night, I played Hero of Sparta on my iTouch, enjoyed Chris Caffeineman's company, watched Corpse Bride, and created my extensive and detailed schedule on my Sunbird calendar program.

Tonight, I decided to bring along my PSYC 125 course reader and some study guides to read until 11 PM (that's when we're "allowed" to bust out our laptops). I read some, then at 11 PM, I whipped out my laptop and watched hours of Scrubs and then researched potential future careers in the field that I am currently pursuing.

So, what's the point? Working these long hours in the dark, sitting outside in the terrace part of OVT, I find a lot of time for myself. I find that there is almost an unbearable surplus of time that I can sit here to think about whatever I want to think about and do whatever I want to do. I could buy a Rosetta Stone program or a book or something and learn French. I could practice watercolour painting every time I work and become a watercolour master by the end of summer. My head spins when I think about this time that is so free, so open. It's so paradoxical because most of us WISH we had all the time in the world to do things; like I do now.

Tonight was peculiar. In my reader, I read "A Glass full of Tears". Intrigued by the somewhat melancholy, depressing title, I started reading a memoir by June Lund Shiplett about coping and living with her husband diagnosed with vascular/multi-infarct dementia, an illness that destroys brain cells. It's kind of like Alzheimer's, but worse.

Dementia turned her husband, Charlie, into a highly irrational human being who often forget where he was or who he was. He became plagued with crazy paranoid thoughts that worried June, and he would become infuriated and abusive if she disagreed or tried to be rational. Charlie's dementia grew more severe as the months went by and he became increasingly dangerous. There came a point where June had to admit defeat and "let go" of Charlie to be taken care of by professionals.

What stuck out to me was her love for her husband. Mentioned often in the article was June talking about how Charlie was constantly verbally abusing her or even swinging at her in violence. Other days, Charlie was completely normal and himself, joking around and smiling. This was the man she loved. The other Charlie, the one inflicted with dementia, was a stranger; so cold and so detestable. Her dedication to her husband, despite the sheer difficulty of dealing and living with him, is admirable and amazing. June doubted God often, questioning His purpose and plan. But in the end, her love for Charlie was so deep.

I'll leave with this quote in her memoir:

"....And I think the best way is to stick out your chin, keep your faith, and a heart full of love. I've learned that I'm stronger than I thought I was and that love is one of the strongest emotions we have as human beings. Love is not just wanting to be with someone all the time, and it isn't just the physical excitement and touching, it's sharing who and what you are with that other person. It's giving yourself unconditionally, without thought to reward. It's hanging on when you don't think you can possibly hang on any longer."

I love you, You are my friend.

*Disclaimer: I don't claim to be speaking the Absolute Truth in this post, but just interesting speculation on a topic that I find difficult to grasp*

If there's one concept in my faith that will continue to baffle nonbelievers and even some believers, it's the Trinity. There are times when I think about it and I can't seem to wrap my head around the idea of One God and Three persons. It's an idea that separates our faith from "Christian" cults like Mormonism and Jehovah's Witnesses. I guess logically, it makes no sense. How can there be three persons in one God "persona"? It's not that there are three separate Gods. He's one, but yet He is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I guess to deepen confusion, in the Gospels, Jesus was definitely walking around and being "human" while there was still a "God" up in Heaven, expressing his approval of His son. And on the cross, didn't Jesus cry out to "The Father"? So how can this be one God? I guess it would entirely make sense that God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are definitely three separate people. I mean, the word "Trinity" doesn't even appear once in the Word. It's only implied by the pronoun "we" in certain verses throughout. 

I'm going to shamelessly borrow what I learned and read in The Shack by WM. Paul Young. I think most of what I read in this book really shed a very logical light on difficult topics. The Trinity was one of them. As some of you might know, this book is a "memoir" of sorts about a man named Mack who gets to spend a weekend with God in a remote cabin where his daughter was allegedly murdered. There, he is able to ask God questions about anything and everything he's always had doubts about when it came to his faith. And ultimately, Mack comes to terms with his loss, which has caused great pain that has created a rift between him and God. 

But back to the Trinity. First of all, we will never be able to grasp the wonder of God's nature. We are like a small cup. The Knowledge of God and His workings are the water in a large pitcher. We can only understand so much, but there's so much about God that will always remain mysterious to us. Besides, who will want to worship a God that is fully comprehended?

"We are not three gods, and we are not talking about one god with three attitudes, like a man who is a husband, father, and worker. I am one God and I am three persons, and each of the three is fully and entirely the one."

If God were simply one God and only one Person, then we would be missing something essential. We would be missing love and relationship. Love and relationship is possibly for us only because God Himself is the relationship. Love isn't the limitation, but rather God IS love. 1st John can confirm this. 

This is where it got somewhat confusing, but yet made sense to me. 

God would not be capable of love if He did not have a relationship within Himself. If we had a One-person God, he might only be able to love out of his limitations, which means he could act without love. And that is NOT our God. Our God CANNOT ACT APART FROM LOVE. 

The Trinity is a perfect representation of Love, the Love that IS God. The Father, the Son, and Spirit are all essential to each other, and all Persons love each other very much. SO much love, in fact, that their relationship makes them ONE. 

Whoaa. It reminds me of how man and wife become united in one flesh when they are married and love each very much. But God Himself is PERFECT Love, meaning God has PERFECT Unity, within Himself. 

Each three Personas also had three different "functions" which ultimately made ONE perfect plan for us. God the Father created the world and concocted the master plan. God the son came to our world, became fully human, yet fully God, and lived a life here on earth as we should live, in perfect harmony with God the Father (at least until He took the cup of wrath for us). Through his death and resurrected, the Son executed the master plan. The Spirit is ultimately God working through us actively. All things are possible because of the Spirit working through us, growing us daily, allowing us to produce fruit. 

So to recap, the Trinity is a concept of ONE God, but with three Persons in perfect relationship with each other as to represent PERFECT LOVE, which is GOD. Because God = Love. And because of this, God loves us unconditionally and perfectly. That's why He would send His only begotten Son to die on the cross for us to save us from eternal separation from His Love. And in turn, we are able to have love and relationships within our own lives with our future spouses, children, family, and friends (as imperfect as it is) We love because God loved first.

All I have to say to this is, wow. Love is seriously what it's all about. 

Where the Love lasts forever.

Sometimes I worry too much.

Maybe that seems like a stupid statement. Of course I worry. Everyone worries about something! Nothing is right in this world. At any given moment, something can be going wrong. Something is deviating from what you would deem satisfactory and stable. It's just a constant reminder of how broken this world is and how uncomfortable we must be living this life. 

I obviously don't completely trust in God. If I worry about such petty things such as schoolwork, my GPA, and finances, I don't trust that He has something great in store for me, despite any "failures". And because I don't trust, we can deduce that I have very little faith in God. In Greek, faith and trust are synonymous. 

Someone needs to come over here and slap me in the face. How can I NOT trust in God? Look at everything He's done for me, all the blessings. Think about INDIA. Countless times has God shown His hand working powerfully in our lives. We have seen our worlds shaken, lives changed, and people saved. Yet, we do not trust completely.

I'm constantly reminded of the Israelites in Exodus. We are the Israelites in the Exodus times. How foolish do those people seem to you! God split the Red Sea right before their very eyes, provided manna in the desert, dished out 10 plagues upon their enemies, Egypt, and delivered them from slavery. YET, they complain, make golden calves, grumble, vocally express their desire to go back to Egypt, and FORGET. These are people who have seen God's very power before their eyes, so explicitly, so clearly, it's unmistakable. STILL, they have the nerve to complain to God and distrust Him. We are the very same. We can see God working in the most extraordinary times and the most ordinary times. Our hearts and minds are CHANGED because of Him. And yet, we find reason to complain.

We're unbelievable. 

Forgive me of my lack of faith.

This life is so hard. So easy to let faith waver. So easy to lose trust. But God is eternal and faithful to us. We draw back, but He always pulls us back to Him. And you know, it takes SURRENDER.

I leave you with the chorus of one of my favorite songs:

So I throw my life upon all You are

'Cause I know You gave it all for me

And when all else fades,

My soul will dance with You,

Where the love lasts forever.

We press on towards our true Home.

- Dan

And what shall remain?

"And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." ~ 1st Corinthians 13:13 (NIV)

I love 1st Corinthians 13. It's most well known for being the "Love" chapter, quoted generously by lovers of love, printed on mugs and plates to become inspirational keepsakes, and made famous by "A Walk to Remember". The entire chapter is so clear about the definition of love, everything it embodies, and everything it is not. It's one of those passages in the Bible that you just can't help but smile when reading, because you know that the love described by the words inscribed by Paul to the Corinthians is one that is given to us by a Perfect Father. 

We are so fortunate that God doesn't love us the way we love. We love so conditionally. Even our "unconditional" love can be flawed, especially when we commit sins against those whom we love most. 

I've never quite fully studied verse 13 closely. I always took it for face value and never really dug deep and discovered the real meaning behind it. I always assumed it just meant that love was just that awesome. But why is love that awesome? Why is it so emphasized? Why is God the entire embodiment of Love and not merely Hope and Faith?

One of my brothers who went to India with  me, Josh, gave me and our team this insight.

We may need FAITH, HOPE, and LOVE throughout our lives. Faith in our God to trust that our lives are completely in His hands. Hope for salvation and to one day meet with God in our heavenly dwelling and leave behind our sinful world. Love from God to receive His grace and mercy, to always be picked up when we fall, and to emulate that love to others so that they may see God's love through us. 

Once we pass away and our souls are finally at Home:

FAITH is no longer necessary. There is no need to have faith in a God that we will be able to see and interact with. We know He is there without an inkling of a doubt.

HOPE is no longer necessary because we have already achieved the end goal of the hope we had. Once we are Home, there can be no greater hope since there is nothing greater.

However, LOVE will always remain and be greater than FAITH and HOPE because LOVE will always embody our relationship with God, whether it is on earth or in Heaven above. 

Love is so powerful. It makes me shudder.

- Dan