I look at my Bible and feel so uninspired. What is it that you want to teach me God? If I open this book, how will my life be affected? Maybe, I have become so jaded that I just don't have the heart to really soak in what You're trying to show me. The words that I read are just that: words.
It's hard to really entrust God with my future. I feel like, the way I've been brought up, it's hard to not have the attitude that the future is what I make of it. I will only succeed if I put my mind to it. Anything less, then I can expect less. But, I've also been taught that our future ultimately aligns with God's plans, despite what silly thing we have thought of for ourselves. Knowing that my life is in God's immovable hands, why would I want to put my own life into my own shaky and unreliable hands? I hate how uncertain the future is. I don't know how I'm supposed to find comfort in knowing that my ambiguous future is going to play out a certain way, no matter what I do. I guess this is where all the question of "free will" within an omnipotent and omniscient sphere comes in.
So many questions in my head, but so little answers. Again, I look down at my Bible. Yet again, I just feel uninspired. Although I open the book and look for answers, I just read mere words and sigh. I close the book and hope God has an answer for me soon.