Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Night Starts Here

I am getting old for this job. Fighting to stay awake for 8 hours, it's just too much for me. I can barely keep my eyes open, my lower back is aching, and images of my warm, soft bed torture me. I've applying to some new lab jobs from Port Triton, hoping that I can pick something up and quit CSO. And I guess if I can't get a new job, I'll just stick with this and suffer through because it's at least a source of meager college-student income. I'm surrounded by a can of Steaz iced tea, a cup of nestea, and a can of AMP energy drink. Yet, I'm still so tired. The effects are no longer strong enough for me.

Last week was midterm week! YAY! My first midterm went well. My last midterm went well. As for my 2nd (Genetics) midterm...I felt like utter crap when I walked out of that room. I remember when I got that test and looked through all the questions, my insides shriveled and I died a little inside. The midterm was long, hard, and bad. Fast forward to a few days, I read some messages on the discussion board in WebCT. I see one topic "That was so messed up...". It was good to see posts after posts of different students complaining about the midterm saying it was unfair, difficult, and way too long. 

Perhaps the curve will work in my favor then.

I don't know what I'm saying. The night is growing old and I am growing increasingly delirious. Save me from this madness.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Nothing is Sound

Starting Junior year has been a wildly interesting ride. I came into this year with expectations and new responsibilities. Now, I'm an "upperclassmen", meaning I'll be thrust into the light of leadership as I become a small group leader. The schoolwork is manageable; I quit my lab to free up some time; the PPH internship is really opening my eyes to a future I may want to pursue; and I almost got fired from the police department. All-in-all, I would say it's been a strange month. 

I've been struggling with something I've never struggled with before. And trust me when I say this. I'm struggling with meeting new people and being open and friendly. Before, if someone asked me to describe myself, I would consider myself a friendly and approachable person. I try to be, knowing how it feels to be rejected by someone who appears aloof. But I've struggled a lot this past month trying to be welcoming to freshmen. I think I only really know like 3 people. I really don't know what's up. Maybe I don't care to meet new people? Am I just lazy and complacent?

I guess it's true when they say college really does change you. It's just kind of funny when you see the change as it happens.