Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thank You for Hearing Me

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays.
Yes, I suppose it helps my birthday coincides with it.
I suppose it doesn't hurt to mention that Thanksgiving celebrations imply a succulent feast with a juicy turkey, creamy mashed potatoes, sweet cranberry sauce, stuffing, and soft pumpkin pie. 

I guess it's easy to miss the point of thanksgiving.

We should ALWAYS have a heart of thanksgiving.

I'm thankful for my family. They're always so supportive. And even when I don't show them that much love, they never fail to show me love anyway. They are my FAMILY. 

I'm thankful for my friends. You guys are the reason I am able to go on. When the times get tough, I'm glad to say I have brothers and sisters in Christ all around me to help pick me back up.

I'm thankful for my God. He provides. He is sovereign. Nothing in my life is my own. Perhaps to a non-Christian, that sounds defeatist, self-depreciating, and all-in-all, quite depressing. But I find so much joy in knowing that God has His hand over me. If I were on my own, I would succumb to darkness and eventually to my ruin.

If God is for us, then who can be against us?
If God gave us the ultimate gift of salvation through His one and only son, then what wouldn't He give us??

Sometimes, I think we just need to OPEN OUR EYES. We moan and complain about not having this or that. But do you really know what it is to have nothing? I don't believe so.

Thank you God.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Green Light

God, will you give me strength?
Will you give me wisdom?
Will you give me the discernment I need to do what is right?

Thank you.

Much has been changing in my heart. 
Much is changing, period.

Usually, I hate writing ambiguous, "poetic" posts. Mostly because I hate reading them. I feel like the writer is trying too hard to appear "artsy" and "abstract", by using profound vocabulary in sentences as short and concise as they can be. In turn, this confuses the reader and makes one very curious to what the subject matter is.

But I'm sorry, I have to leave you guys at that.

- For the homeless. Please.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Sing, Sing, Sing

Time flies.
There's barely any time to relax when there's so much to do. Many items clutter up my to-do list. 

I seriously despise math. Why did such a stupid subject have to become the "language of the universe"? I've heard countless reasons why math is such a fun and good subject. 

"It's straightforward!"
"There's always an answer."
"I love solving problems!"

I disagree heavily! I hate it. It's so rigid that there's no room for much creativity. You got the formulas. You have the progression of steps necessary to solve the problem. There is no room to go wild, no room to experiment. The answer is either right or wrong or unsolvable. 

What a stupid subject.

I'm just bitter because I suck at math. I'm redeeming myself with this 2nd round of Math 20B. The midterm is on Friday (Which is tomorrow, joy!) and I have to pass this sucker to have confidence of passing the class (finally). 

It's been bothering me a lot. It's something I pray about these days because I need comfort. I need to be put in my place. I need to quell my pride.

I've always been frustrated with not being able to change people. You have a friend who indulges in certain things and you know it's not good for him or her. You want to tell him or her to stop without sounding too preachy or judgmental. I want to tell him that he shouldn't do the things he does because he knows better. He knows Christ, so he should definitely know better. His reasons are petty. His justifications are weak. I talk and talk, probably sounding preachy.

But I get sucked back into reality, when I realize a lot of my words fall empty upon his unopened ears. He goes and does it again and I'm just pissed. Do you not understand what I'm trying to say?!?

All the reasons seriously make so much sense in my head and my heart.

Then I realize, it's GOD who changes hearts. I should be praying for him, not trying to change him with methods of persuasion and solid arguments. I can give the best reasons in the world, but it can mean nothing to him because his heart isn't ready to hear it and accept it. And only God can break down and mold a sinner's heart.

I wish I could change and help people. But that's my pride talking to me, saying "Hey Dan, you have power to shape people's lives if you just say the right thing!"

Yeah right.

Pray for me.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Get it together.

I've slowly begun to understand. I've come to a realization that a Christian lifestyle is progressive. One might think, "That's stupid, of course it's progressive!" But for such a simple fact, it's pretty overlooked. You know because of how we live, think, act, and speak in our day to day lives. You can say you're Christian. I think many people can profess to believe in Jesus Christ. The sad statistic is how many people can walk the talk. Due to my experiences and observations, I have hypothesized that you simply cannot just look at an average Christian and know that he or she is a Christian. Simply because we can profess the faith, but find it extremely difficult to live out a Christ-centered life full of fruit and humility. 

I've been thinking a lot about accountability these days. We had a talk in servant team meeting amongst our SA sophomores. Logically, accountability does not fail because we simply do not bother to ask the right questions or because we don't have time to meet with each other. I think the failure of accountability has a much deeper root than simple excuses. 

Failure of accountability comes because each individual person isn't pursuing a relationship with God. This doesn't mean you have to be righteous, totally holy, got your life together, and honorary Christian warrior. It could simply mean that even as a broken sinner, you continue to thirst and seek after God with a willing heart. You don't have to feel like a super Christian, but rather a Christian who knows he/she is not super and is willing to conform to God's will. 

Frankly, if you don't care about your relationship with God, then how could you care about trying to find encouragement and be encouraging to another brother or sister about it? If you played golf in high school, but didn't really care about it, then there's a very slim chance you would seek out a teacher or a peer to help you improve on your golf swings. 

But there could be exceptions I suppose, such as one-sided accountability. If one person tries to encourage a spiritually-dead person and succeeds by perseverance, then all the power! But as always, accountability is best when both people are equally passionate about growing in their relationship with God TOGETHER. 

Accountability appears to be difficult to find.
I will pray tonight. 
Seek God always.

Friday, November 14, 2008

This is...

So, I'm really hating a few things right now. 
The list includes (but is not limited to):
1) Moldy foods
2) Black dust
3) Split lip
4) Knowing that time is short
5) Lack of money
6) Feelings of inadequacy.

But I'm loving:
1) Almonds
2) Dried Pears
3) Ruby Red Grapefruit juice

My life is so dull. It's nothing but school school school with KCM and Halo thrown in here and there. I wish something would spark up my life and make it interesting. Am I asking for too much? Am I being naive for thinking that my life right now is dull? Probably. 

I just need to open my eyes.